Our Services

May16

Logo1a

WHAT we do: We are an after care service: after the crises, after the shelters, after relocation,  after trying to put your life back together there needs to be a  renewal/transforming, a change of  the mind.  We educate the clients/ survivors about DV through education: we endeavor to renew their minds by: being enlighten, empowered and encouraged by moral principles and practical  applications.

SERVICES:

Community Education Programs

Domestic Violence training

Domestic Violence workshops

Sexual Abuse Awareness workshops

Catharsis  support group

Referrals/Resource Information

Local shelters
Legal assistance
Mental Health assessment
Alcohol drug counseling

 

 

Know Your Rights: Title IX

May7

Know Your Rights: Title IX
The problem with rape or any sexual assault is that it’s a private yet public concern. Sexual assault and rape in particular is a societal issue that must be dealt with effectively to stop its perpetuation. Rape is a nightmare which refuses to go away, and it can follow you all the days of your life, unless there has been sufficient closure for the victim of the sexual abuse. We can help walk you through the trauma of the abuse, and help you to resolve the nagging problem which often takes the form of post- traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) from a natural and a biblical perspective.

Know Your Rights: Title IX Prohibits Sexual Harassment1 and Sexual Violence Where You Go to School
1 Use of the term “sexual harassment” throughout this document includes sexual violence unless otherwise noted.
Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972 (“Title IX”), 20 U.S.C. §1681 et seq., is a Federal civil rights law that prohibits discrimination on the basis of sex in education programs and activities. All public and private elementary and secondary schools, school districts, colleges, and universities (hereinafter “schools”) receiving any Federal funds must comply with Title IX. Under Title IX, discrimination on the basis of sex can include sexual harassment or sexual violence, such as rape, sexual assault, sexual battery, and sexual coercion.
Below is additional information regarding the specific requirements of Title IX as they pertain to sexual harassment and sexual violence.
What are a school’s responsibilities to address sexual harassment and sexual violence?
• A school has a responsibility to respond promptly and effectively. If a school knows or reasonably should know about sexual harassment or sexual violence that creates a hostile environment, the school must take immediate action to eliminate the sexual harassment or sexual violence, prevent its recurrence, and address its effects.
• Even if a student or his or her parent does not want to file a complaint or does not request that the school take any action on the student’s behalf, if a school knows or reasonably should know about possible sexual harassment or sexual violence, it must promptly investigate to determine what occurred and then take appropriate steps to resolve the situation.
• A criminal investigation into allegations of sexual harassment or sexual violence does not relieve the school of its duty under Title IX to resolve complaints promptly and equitably.

If you want to learn more about your rights, or if you believe that a school district, college, or university is violating Federal law, you may contact the U.S. Department of Education, Office for Civil Rights, at (800) 421-3481 or ocr@ed.gov. If you wish to fill out a complaint form online, you may do so at: http://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/complaintintro.html.

Cleaning Your Closet

Nov19

Cleaning Your Closet

Some people who have experienced abuse can sometimes become emotionally hard, unyielding and unforgiving. There’s a need to work on ourselves, if not the abused can become the abuser!

In the reading there are places where you are to fill in the blanks working on your moral fiber, but for the sake of continuity and time I’ll fill in the blanks.

Some closets are pretty much in order a little cleaning here and there is all you need. You go about stacking your I  love – you tokens in place, and sweeping out mis-understanding and resentments. You throw out that old tattle-tale container that’s spilling over with lies, and rumors. You re-connect your “I’m sorry” bottom, which had fallen behind your “I forgive you” box. And you remembered not to put a lid on that box as it is used often. Then you bring out your matching luggage of _Joy &_Peace__ and put it right in front of the closet! Now you’re done.

Others on the other hand,  are large walk-in closets and a bit more challenging, and need help. Your needful things have been there for years packed, pushed, shoved, and hidden in the back of the closet. You can’t get to them in a hurry so you grab what’s nearest and go about your business.
But now it’s time to clean your closet because what’s in the back of the closet should be at the front and you need it everyday. As you go about the drudgery of throwing things out…stopping occasionally to examine an item, or read an old love letter, there’s an awareness– a Presence— as if someone was gingerly leading and guiding- “Let’s see what we got here, ah yes, throw out that transparent bag of resentment that’s the first to go. Destroy those twin boxes of envy and strife it doesn’t fit who you are. Now that red box of anger put it outside the closet—wait don’t throw it out in rage, or kick it out in hot temper, lay it aside. Anger no longer works for you. Now look up… over your head, right in the middle of the shelf where your hat boxes are, yes, right there, see that decorated overly larger box? It’s pride. I hate pride, I’ve been trying to get it out of your closet for a long time, that’s to be burned with all it’s contents.
Just a few more items and you are there. To your left side way in the back, in the corner — do you see what looks like a collage of clothing? Go back there, and look closely, it’s not clothing at all, it’s an illusion, its mental possessions that occupy and squeeze out your spiritual life daily, put those out to be burned also. Now put in the trash that double-sided os-cil-lating sign of “guilt & shame; guilt & shame, it vacillates back and forth, back and forth, in your face to bind you spiritually.
Finally, you have worked yourself to the very back of the closet and find what is needed. “Oh! Here it is! How could it have gotten so far back in the closet?” Hurriedly you bring it to the light and examine it– turning it around and shaking it out. It’s still in good condition, Ahh… you breathe a big sigh of relief. That’s what’s been missing—Longsuffering & Kindness: so you vowed to keep it out in the open-and use it everyday.
Brenda McGibboney-author

Reminder: October-Domestic Violence Month

Oct1

Presidential Proclamation — National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, 2012

NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH, 2012

BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

A  PROCLAMATION

For far too long, domestic violence was ignored or treated as a private matter where victims were left to suffer in silence without hope of intervention. As we mark the 18th anniversary of the landmark Violence Against Women Act, authored by Vice President Joe Biden, we reflect on how far we have come. We have made significant progress in changing laws and attitudes, providing support to survivors, and reducing the incidence of domestic violence. But we also know that we have not come far enough, and that there is more work left to be done. During National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we stand with all those who have been affected by this terrible crime, recognize the individuals and groups who have stepped forward to break the cycle of violence, and recommit to putting an end to domestic violence in America.

Despite considerable progress in reducing domestic violence, an  average of three women in the United States lose their lives every day as a result of these unconscionable acts. And while women between the ages of 16 and 24 are among the most vulnerable to intimate partner violence, domestic violence affects people regardless of gender, age, sexual orientation, race, or religion. Tragically, without intervention, children exposed to such violence can suffer serious long-term consequences that may include difficulty in school, post-traumatic disorders, alcohol and drug abuse, and criminal behavior.

My Administration remains committed to getting victims the help they need, from emergency shelter and legal assistance to transitional housing and services for children. We are also working to stop violence before it starts. Last year, agencies across the Federal Government held town hall meetings nationwide to promote men’s roles in ending violence against women…

While government must do its part, all Americans can play a role in ending domestic violence. Each of us can promote healthy relationships, speak out when we see injustice in our communities, stand with survivors we know, and change attitudes that perpetuate the cycle of abuse. We must also ensure that survivors of domestic violence know they are not alone, and that there are resources available to them. I encourage victims, their loved ones, and concerned citizens to learn more by calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE, or by visiting www.TheHotline.org.

This month, let us renew our efforts to support victims of domestic violence in their time of greatest need, and to realize an America where no one lives in fear because they feel unsafe in their own home.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim October 2012 as National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I call on all Americans to speak out against domestic violence and support local efforts to assist victims of these crimes in finding the help and healing they need.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this first day of October, in the year of our Lord two thousand twelve, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-seventh.

BARACK OBAMA

Abusers Traits and Characteristics

Mar30

Abusers Traits

The first recorded instance of abuse was in the bible when Cain killed his brother Abel out of jealousy.

 An abuser  can be anyone, as evidenced from the Bible.  Abusers  are  in  every culture,  ethnic group, and nationality in the world, there  are both male, and female abusers, but most  perpetrators of abuse are male.

“Now Cain said… let’s go out to the field.” And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him.” Genesis 4:8

I’ve found  five  predominant traits  of an abuser. I’m sure there are  many more but these five come readily to mind regarding  most abusers.

Charismatic

They  are  charismatic/charming,  there’s a certain attractive quality about them.  They are extremely  polite,  and  even  delightful  to be around. One would say “ he’s  a charmer” or Mr./Ms. Personality”.

Most often they are physically attractive, although there are some  who are not so attractive, but  for the most part they are attractive looking, or have  some quality about them that’s  appealing.

Most people can’t believe  that  the person is an abuser they can’t  see beyond the his/her fascinating personality.

In fact  in some instances, children, even though they may actually see the abuse, believe  that somehow you the victim  was the cause of the abuse, why else would  such a sweet person do what he/she does?   They miss the whole point  of  abuse-Power and Control.

We normally look at the outward appearance of a person, but the Lord looks at the heart of a person (I Samuel 16:7).

 Jealousy

An  abuser  can be extremely hateful and  jealous of  his/her love relationships. Usually they have an unhealthy, unfounded suspicion of their spouse/or friend.

 Controlling

Most abusers whether male of female can be controlling in their behavior;  they must have the upper hand, dominance, rule in their affairs with their loved ones.

 Deceptive

Most abusers can be very deceptive, dishonesty, and full of guile they  somehow  manage to juggle situations, people and circumstances to their benefit. They are  convincing  impostors.

 A Proud Heart

Most abusers are proud, arrogant, and egotistical   they have an unrepentant spirit  about abuse, and most things. They  believe what they have done was to keep things in control for your good.  They may  cry, and plead even  ask for your forgiveness, but  it is not  sincere, for  soon the  slander and abuse starts all over again.

Here of  Some Characteristics of Abusers

 They  men/women may track you and your whereabouts-mileage, phone calls, social media, etc.

They may try to control your money. If they are the chief bread winner they keep the money

When angry destroys property

Threaten you

Physical abusive

Emotionally abusive

Psychological  abusive

Blames you for his outbursts

May have a poor self-image

May have a history of family violence

Verbally abusive

May be unfaithful in marital relationship

May have alcohol/drug addiction

May have gambling addiction

Most abusers like to rush into a relationship

Humiliates you

Dr. Jekyll Mr. Hyde syndrome

If you have found some of these traits or characteristics constantly being displayed  in your relationship it’s time to  get help as soon as possible.

Spiritually:   First of all pray and ask the Lord to show you how to handle the situation that you’re  currently  in.   Ask the Lord to give you divine strategies in the situation.

Naturally: If your significant other is physically violent  take tangible steps to get help as soon as possible, and remove yourself from harms way.  Remember faith without doing something to help yourself is useless.

If the situation is  violent, and children are involved  Please call for Emergency Help 911; National Domestic Violence  Hotline 1 800 799-7233 (SAFE) 1 800 787-3224 (TDD)

Know Your Rights

Mar14

“My people are destroyed from lack of knowledge.” Hosea 4:6

Whether you exercise your rights, or not, knowing victims rights in the midst of domestic violence will empower you. Your rights give you options. In the United States of America whether you are a citizen, a legally resident, or staying illegally… you have legal rights.

If you don’t know your rights most often abusers will try to take away as many of your rights as possible through fear, intimidation, and/or abuse. Your abuser’s actions do not change the fact that legally you have rights.

KNOW THE LAW FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

You have the right to religious freedom
You have the right to equal protection of the law, whether you are legally, or illegally in this country.
You have the right to come and go within the United States of America whenever you please.
You have the right to see and talk to whomever you want, whenever you want to.
You have the right to express yourself freely.
You have the right to further your education if you want to.
You have the right to work and choose your career as long as you are a citizen, or have a worker’s visa.
You have the right to your earned wages and to spend them as you prefer.
You have the right to refuse sex when you don’t want it.
You have the right to have sex when you want and with whomever you want, as long as the other person agrees.
You have the right to choose if, and when you have children, and how many.
You have the right to take your children and hide with them from you abuser, even if your abuser is the other biological parent. Make sure you verify this with your State of residence. You have the right to live your life without violence.

For further information on your rights, I highly recommend http://www.justicewomen.com Know the Law for Domestic Violence in your State. See http://hotline.Women’s Law.org   And  www. LawHelp.org/NC